Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just google imaged poop.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is my gift to your gina
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
