Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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