I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
