chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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