Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
