In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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