is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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