Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
