I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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