He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
