all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
