I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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