Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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