did you get engaged???
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
