Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You are a genius and a whore.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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