Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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