I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
