Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
