Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
