Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
