I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
