The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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