Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
