I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
