I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
