my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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