Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
