I think my fart just growled at me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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