ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
