she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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