I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
