could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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