we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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