i already hear my dad disowning me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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