He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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