'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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