I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she looked like the before picture.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
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If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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