BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
