It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
