I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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