Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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