the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize