Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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