dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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