Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
