Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize