whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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