just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
