your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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