i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
