so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize