I wannas sexs uuuuu
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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