Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
