i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
