Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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